the hard part

this is the hard part.

i know what i'm going back to. i know that there are many unhappy moments.



but still, i'll go. i'll go. and most likely, i'll survive.

for now

WARNING: this may be a bit melodramatic, but i've just got to say it...


i feel so strange right now.

sometimes the strangeness lifts and i can take a few deep breaths. other times i forget where i am for a moment or two. but i soon remember again.

all a part of the process.

all a part of the process.

"We, little sisters- like everyone else- have had to carve our path in the world."
-Little Sisters: The Last But Not the Least, Carolyn Lieberg

i'm working on it. these things take time.

sweet, sweet boy

this sweet, sweet boy- on my mind so much lately.

here is a wise old soul if i ever saw one.

sending him love, love and more love.

mezcla

all i have to say is phew. it has been extremely annoying to me these past few weeks that my picture header was always on the left side, and not centered. well, after some searching last night, i discovered how to center it! no, i have not yet figured out how to make it stretch the whole width of my blog, but maybe it's just not possible?

the banner above is one i created myself....and all of the pictures are actually mine (i took all except the ones of myself...obviously). however, i'm just not sure i like this look as much as one larger picture. i really wanted to use my own pictures though, and i wanted to use a mix of them. mezcla. that's "mix" or "blend" in spanish...i like that word.

anyway, i suppose this shouldn't be my priority on one of my precious last few days in madison before i move to iowa city, but what can you do? when motivation calls....

part of the problem is i don't even know what to do. this is when i need leah to tell me exactly what step to take next, or molly- she's also good at that. i may just have to recruit my mom for that position, seeing as she's the one close at hand...

wish me luck packing, or organizing or planning or whatever it is i'll be doing...

"broken songs"

new favorite song.
i could listen to it over and over...it is soothing, and sad, and true.
it never lasts long enough.

click below, and have a listen.

"broken songs" by jim ward, featuring tegan quin.

she makes me happy

i'm not even going to pretend like my blog keeps you up to date on my day-to-day activities...by now you all know this isn't true. but i do like to have this space to spill some words or thoughts every now and then. now, onto the real subject of this blog.

She , despite her best intentions, looooves to nap. (she was napping at the time this post was originally written.)

She helps me make sense of things.

She thinks i'm way better than i am, but who doesn't like to be thought of that way?

She knows how to make spaces good places to be in...

She always has an idea and, thank goodness, a decision.

She has a deep, wise intuition and knows how to hear it.

She leaves her mark, and it's the sort of mark that pulls your gaze to it over and over again- the sort of mark that reassures you.

She is silly...you should have heard her 4-year-old giggle...sometimes you still can.

She makes saying goodbye practically impossible.

my sister is funny.

well, that's really all i had to say. in the title. no need to babble on when you already know the point. here are some pictures to back me up. here is also a link to her blog- her latest post is also proof: molly's blog(as you can see, just put on a country song- i.e. "american honey," and she's off...)(she can also tend to become a bit violent, and really doesn't like to give up until she has won....poor marta)
(she offers food to those without...or the inanimate)(she's a ham in front of the camera....man, you should have seen her when she was 7...)

all of these pictures are from one weekend. imagine the pictures that 25 years yields...mhmm. we got some good ones.

i love her.