one more thing

also, i just thought i should share that it is absolutely unnecessary for any human being to have as many possessions as i do.

packing

i'm not ready to leave. i'm just not. this is really, really, really hard.



that's all.

filling in the gap

it's been a while...i do apologize to my avid readers (all two of you...). there has been quite a bit going on these past few weeks, and i feel a bit overwhelmed at the idea of trying to convey it all in a blog. so, i was thinking, why even try? anyway, i feel like most of you know what the last few weeks of college, graduation, etc. involves, right? suffice it to say i graduated (though i remember nothing about actually walking across the stage, except that i was definitely beaming when i was handed my [empty] diploma case), and did finally finish my internship portfolio.

in this past week or so of relaxing and contemplating my departure from ca, i have only once or twice felt pangs of guilt for not doing anything "productive," which i am pretty proud of myself for. a few mornings i even woke up and stayed in bed reading a book of my choosing...

lately i've just been getting this urge to write...i'm not sure what....but i have a hard time actually sitting down and doing it, because i have this feeling that it will take a while or, i will just need lots of time for that process. and i think i'm also nervous because it probably won't turn out how i want it at first....and i may not even understand why or what i'm writing until i get a little farther into it. it doesn't seem like that much of a commitment now that i'm writing this out, but for some reason i am a bit resistant to it. i have a feeling that resistance won't last much longer though. mary pipher writes in her book "writing to change the world":

"A writer's job is to tell stories that connect readers to all the people on earth, to show these people as the complicated human beings they really are, with histories, families, emotions and legitimate needs. We can replace one-dimensional stereotypes with multidimensional individuals with whom our readers can identify. In creating a world of I-thou relationships, writers can do much of the heavy lifting."

and she also quotes this wise man, james baldwin, as saying:

"You write in order to change the world, knowing perfectly well that you probably can't, but also knowing that literature is indispensable to the world...The world changes according to the way people see it, and if you alter, even by a millimeter, the way people look at reality, then you can change it."

i find those thoughts quite inspiring.

10 more days in azusa. very strange.

resist completion

i was just listening to some wonderfully calming and inspiring music....alexi murdoch, to be exact....and thought i saw a quote on the webpage that read "resist completion." after doing a double take, however, i realized that it really says "resist compression." but i liked my initial perception. it made me think. i don't ever want to be "complete," i don't ever want to expect to be "complete." i don't want to try to be "complete." what does that mean anyway? i just want to be, in this moment i am in. it seems only natural to have goals to meet, but i hope that i don't ever take those too far, and think that finally, at one point, i will have reached completion.

some highlights of my day:
1. talking to beautiful people at my church (who even gave me a graduation gift)
2. watching "away we go"....i highly recommend this movie if you haven't yet seen it
3. eating a delectable watermelon (that was only .17/lb)
4. sitting in a park on a breezy sunday afternoon, celebrating cinco de mayo (yes, on the 2nd of may), listening to a mariachi band with some wonderful people

and now...i'm off to take a run before the sun sets completely... it may just become another highlight...

it's been a good day.

have you ever

photo credit: flickr

"have you ever" by brandi carlile

have you ever wandered lonely through the woods?
and everything there feels just as it should
you're part of the life there
you're part of something good
if you've ever wandered lonely through the woods
if you've ever wandered lonely through the woods

have you ever stared into a starry sky?
lying on your back you're asking why
what's the purpose I wonder who am I
if you've ever stared into a starry sky
have you ever stared into a starry sky?

have you ever been out walking in the snow?
tried to get back to where you were before
you always end up not knowing where to go
if you've ever been out walking in the snow
if you'd ever been out walking you would know

welcome, little man

*photo credit- tommy coppers
caleb patrick- here's a belated welcome to the world to you, little one. how is it that you are more than we ever hoped and dreamed? you already have a distinct, graceful, steady presence in this world. i can't wait to see where it takes you. and to my dear friend rebekah, what a natural you are. this little guy is luckier than he will ever know. you are just right for him.

you two are one of my nicest thoughts. i love you, rebekah and caleb.

birthdays and visitors

(disclaimer- yes, i do realize im writing 2 posts right in a row, but....they just had such different feels to them, i had to differentiate.)(breakfast in bed on march 30th....)

22. hmm. i kinda like that number. i think i can handle that for the next year or so. i'm really not one of those people who is already freaking out about their birthdays, and getting old, etc...22 isn't old, nope. it's just right for me. and what made it even more right were the people i had with me to celebrate the day.

(molly and i in sierra madre)

(molly and marta outside of my apt door)

now, molly and marta were indeed the honored guests, but many other beautiful people were a part of making that day special, too....including all of the card givers, present senders, phone callers, and text messagers... all i can say is thank you, thank you, thank you....please know that i cherish those words. we spent the morning/afternoon walking around a cute little town called sierra madre, and then went to pasadena where i got FREE frozen yogurt from 21 choices. we went out to dinner with a group of friends at a restaurant in pasadena, and followed a delicious dinner with a little campfire on the back patio of a friend's house....where we made s'mores, of course. all in all- a lovely day. however, i'm realizing its just too much to write about the adventures of M.A.M. (molly-anna-martha) right now, but at another day and another time, those adventures will be chronicled, don't you worry......
time to focus on some homework now, as another dear visitor is coming in tonight...and who can focus on homework when kaitlin is around?! not me, that's for sure.