welcome, little man

*photo credit- tommy coppers
caleb patrick- here's a belated welcome to the world to you, little one. how is it that you are more than we ever hoped and dreamed? you already have a distinct, graceful, steady presence in this world. i can't wait to see where it takes you. and to my dear friend rebekah, what a natural you are. this little guy is luckier than he will ever know. you are just right for him.

you two are one of my nicest thoughts. i love you, rebekah and caleb.

birthdays and visitors

(disclaimer- yes, i do realize im writing 2 posts right in a row, but....they just had such different feels to them, i had to differentiate.)(breakfast in bed on march 30th....)

22. hmm. i kinda like that number. i think i can handle that for the next year or so. i'm really not one of those people who is already freaking out about their birthdays, and getting old, etc...22 isn't old, nope. it's just right for me. and what made it even more right were the people i had with me to celebrate the day.

(molly and i in sierra madre)

(molly and marta outside of my apt door)

now, molly and marta were indeed the honored guests, but many other beautiful people were a part of making that day special, too....including all of the card givers, present senders, phone callers, and text messagers... all i can say is thank you, thank you, thank you....please know that i cherish those words. we spent the morning/afternoon walking around a cute little town called sierra madre, and then went to pasadena where i got FREE frozen yogurt from 21 choices. we went out to dinner with a group of friends at a restaurant in pasadena, and followed a delicious dinner with a little campfire on the back patio of a friend's house....where we made s'mores, of course. all in all- a lovely day. however, i'm realizing its just too much to write about the adventures of M.A.M. (molly-anna-martha) right now, but at another day and another time, those adventures will be chronicled, don't you worry......
time to focus on some homework now, as another dear visitor is coming in tonight...and who can focus on homework when kaitlin is around?! not me, that's for sure.

open hands

in almost one month, i will be graduating from college. let me tell you, it is nothing short of terrifying. nope. honestly, i thought i was immune to this- if you were to ask me at the beginning of this school year if i would be scared to graduate, i would not have hesitated to say "no!" well, now i am eating my words. don't get me wrong- if you were to tell me that i had to stay in school another year, or even another semester, i'm pretty sure i would cry....it's just...it's a pretty indescribable sort of experience. i have been in school ever since i can remember. but terrifying does not mean bad. as the wise brett dennen writes in one of my favorite songs of his "don't be afraid should things happen to change; 'cause change can be a beautiful thing; should things fall apart, be patient like a rainbow; life is loving and letting go" so, i guess that's what i'm about to do- let go of something i have become very accustomed to. something that has been a major influence in how i see the world now. but that means i will have open hands....and open hands are a good thing. open hands are ready for whatever comes at them. open hands are searching, but not grabbing. open hands can feel the cool breeze blow across them. and one day, those open hands will find something new to grasp.
it is infinitely comforting, too, in the beginning of what i am anticipating to be a somewhat lengthy transition time, to know that i have family and friends like i do who are just the support i need. they don't push me and they don't hold me back. their arms are open for me when i need them, but they let me go when i am ready for that, too. their words and their actions affirm me. i am so very lucky.
and this is a good reminder, too, from "big strong girl" by the weepies:
"hold out for the moon
don't expect connection anytime soon
feel the light caress your fingertips
you have just begun
the word has only left your lips
maybe in time, you will find
your arms are wrapped around the sun"

flickr

sunset

it really is amazing how overwhelmingly beautiful a sunset can be....this big, yellow, glowing ball hung in the sky last night against a backdrop of a million different shades of orange and it- as cliche as it sounds- almost took my breath away. i drove over the crest of a hill- and there it was, in all its fullness.

the spring wildflowers are out, the foothills are green as can be, and yesterday while i sat outside (correction- sweated outside) doing a little reading, a little boy was swimming in the pool in my apartment complex. yes, folks, it's beginning to look a lot like summer here in socal. BUT, don't let it fool you, i think this is just an especially warm spell. of course it will likely be gone before molly gets here next week. next week! ahhh, the excitement is building for those special visitors. but i can't let myself think about it too much or i simply cannot focus.

on friday i went on a hike in the foothills just a few minutes from my apartment, and i was pleasantly surprised by the trees with big, sweeping branches, the grassy hillsides, and the wildflowers alongside the trail. sometimes when i get stuck in the middle of the city for too long, i forget that there are beautiful places so nearby. last night i went for a walk. some sort of flower smelled so "heavenly," as my mom would say, i could smell it halfway down the street. if my mom or grandma had been there, i'm sure they could have named it, but alas, it will have to remain a mystery. turns out, sometimes a walk is just what i need.

grovely days

some days just aren't the best...you know? i think my sister could describe it best using the word- "grovely"...no, that is not a real word, but just listen to it- i feel like it just sounds like what it means....yucky, gross, uncomfortable-feeling...anyway, today has been one of those days. grovely. plain and simple.
things seem more frustrating, more saddening, more hurtful, more hopeless, and more tedious than i know they really are. despite that knowing, you just can't shake those feelings. agh! it's not a good feeling, but, i know these are valuable days. for some reason. nope, i couldn't tell you why. but i do firmly believe that. especially when we just let ourselves feel it.
so, on this day, this song has been a good one to listen to:
city and colour- "against the grain"
with that, i wish you luck getting your needed rest when we lose an hour tonight...and don't forget to enjoy that extra hour of daylight tomorrow evening!

morning tea and paper...

it is a dream of mine- to wake up early, drink a warm cup of tea, read the LA times, and watch the sunrise....wake up slowly, but surely, and greet the sun as it comes up. but somehow, it always sounds so much dreamier and desirable at night than in the morning when i'm snuggled under my covers. but someday, someday, maybe tomorrow?, i will will myself to get up. that will be a beautiful day- a beautiful morning. i am sure of it.